I suppose some of you are expecting an update on my recovery. Well I’m pleased to announce that on Christmas morning (or maybe the next day – I was high) I suddenly felt saucy and decided to forgo the shower bench. That’s right. I took a shower like a normal person. No bench, no safety bars, no help. In retrospect I probably should have informed someone just in case it went badly but what the hell. I did it! Stepping over the wall of the tub to get in and out is tricky. I admit that while getting out I started to fall over, but thankfully there’s plenty of wall there to break my fall. I managed to ricochet like a pinball back into upright position. Then I did exactly what you’re thinking I would do: I held the towel around me half-assed, did the cabbage patch with my good arm and hobbled to the top of the stairwell to yell down to my family my glorious news! It was a Christmas miracle! OK maybe not, but it felt awesome.
The shower bench is still set aside in my room just in case I have a bad day and need it, but so far it’s become another clothes rack. I still have the wheelchair I came home with too. I haven’t used it in months. Same deal with the walker. I’m really afraid to let these things go. I feel like if I get rid of them, I’ve suddenly made this declaration that I am healed. Don’t get me wrong – I want to be healed. There is just this sense of safety in knowing that I’m not. I have this fear that if I appear to be healed, no one will understand why my body and mind betray me. It’s as if hanging on to these things is the last thing saving me from being thrown to the wolves. I hope I’m making sense. I should probably mention the Tylenol+Codeine I took a little while ago. (I’ve got a damn ear infection if you must know.)
Getting sick repeatedly over the last several weeks has knocked me off track as far as a daily routine. I went quite a while without stretching my spastic shoulder. Surprisingly, I’m not doing so badly. I’ve lost some range due to stiffness but I feel like I can move it with decent precision. It is possible that this strength and confidence is a byproduct of the codeine, but I’m ok with that. Apparently it’s 2012 now. If it wasn’t for my phone I wouldn’t know that. Well cheers. I need a nap.