Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Could be runnin' this $hit

I’ve been home 5 days now. It’s so much different than being in the hospital or rehab. We baby-proof our homes, but we don't mommy-proof them. The people that do help are left to wing it and hope they don’t hurt you or invade your space. They inevitably do of course. If you’ve had a toddler in your life, you know it’s impossible to sit or lie down without becoming an instant indoor jungle gym. At first it was scary. I can’t feel all of my arm, leg, or foot so I couldn’t tell if my son was getting a little too crazy stepping and climbing on me. Then I realized that every time we play together I can feel sensation just a little bit more. Yeah it hurts like hell. But with every cringe I know in some twisted way it’s helping me.

I’ve also found that swatting my son’s fingers away from his nose has made for some great OT (Occupational Therapy for you noobs.) At first I could only swat; now if I concentrate really hard I can make a half grip with my bad hand and snag his forearm to yank his hand from his face. (Of course if the kid fights me, he wins which may be setting a dangerous precedent around here.) Luckily he’s a rambunctious boy who loves slapstick. He’d gladly pick his nose for half hour just to giggle at me trying to stop him. So yaay boogers! Or should I say “thera-boogers…” *snort*

I guess this makes it official. I’m a cripple. I’ve only been out in public once, so I’m not so sure I feel different. I notice other disabled people get treated nice probably because everyone feels sorry for them. But then I was thinking of how hot girls always get preferential treatment, which gave me a fabulous idea. If I continue to lose weight, maybe JUST MAYBE I could be a hot, crippled chick! Ah dude! I’d be running this shit! Just sayin’. Do you think it would be illegal to color red lips on my handicap placard?


  1. its yours. go for it. may start a trend, color your plaquard. lol Just because you're in a wheelchair doesn't mean you can't look sexy.

  2. it was a total shock to me when i realized that that logo meant me.

    very cool about your sensation!

    yours is so official - in oregon they just write the date in at the bottom in sharpie. and mine doesn't expire until 2019. jealous?

  3. um yes...totally jealous ;)